At 2:10 in the morning, you’re at the ER triage desk with your mother in a wheelchair beside you. The nurse asks whether she takes a blood thinner, and whether this confusion is new.
You know she takes something for her blood. You can’t remember the name, and the pill bottles are at home in the cabinet.
What information should I have ready for the ER?
Keep an emergency medical list: one list of your parent’s medications, allergies, health conditions, and contacts. It’s useful to keep a printed copy too, with copies of their ID and health or insurance card. Then pack a hospital bag to leave by the front door. The first checklist below shows what goes on the list. The second has what to pack in the hospital bag. If you care for a partner rather than a parent, the same lists work.
What goes on the emergency medical list
- Put your parent’s full name, date of birth, and home address at the top of the list, with your own name and phone number.
- Add the health card, Medicare, or NHS number, and any other insurance with its member number.
- List every medication with its dose and when it’s taken, including vitamins and over-the-counter medicines.
- Add every allergy, to medicines, foods, or latex, with what the reaction looks like.
- List your parent’s health conditions and past surgeries, with the year of each.
- Describe what your parent is like on an ordinary day: how they walk, talk, hear, see, and remember.
- Note how your parent communicates best, and what upsets or calms them.
- Add the family doctor’s name and phone number, and the pharmacy’s.
- Name the person who makes health decisions if your parent can’t, with their phone number.
- Note where your parent’s health decision papers are kept, like a power of attorney, an advance directive, or a POLST or DNR form.
- List the other people to call, with their phone numbers.
- Put today’s date at the top of the list.
What to pack in the hospital bag
- Put a printed copy of the emergency medical list in the bag’s outside pocket.
- Add copies of your parent’s ID, health or insurance card, and any form their doctor or nurse signed about emergency treatment, like a POLST or DNR form.
- Pack your parent’s glasses, hearing aids, and denture case, or a note saying where they’re kept.
- On the way out, add your parent’s medications in their bottles, your parent’s phone, and your own, in case you’re there for a while.
- Bring your parent’s calendar and yours, on a phone or on paper, so you can plan the follow-up before you leave.
- Pack phone chargers with long cables.
- Add a warm layer, socks with grips, and a change of underwear for your parent.
- Pack a sweater or jacket for you and anyone else who comes along.
- Add water bottles and snacks for everyone who’s going.
- Pack a book or something else to pass the time while you wait.
- Put cash or a card for parking in the bag.
- Tape a note inside the front door that says: “Please take the hospital bag by the door. It has [your parent’s name]’s medications and health information.”
Put a second printed copy of the emergency medical list on the fridge, where paramedics can find it. In the US, 39.6% of ER visits by people 75 and older arrive by ambulance, according to the CDC’s 2022 emergency department survey.
Which medications should I bring to the ER?
Bring your parent’s emergency medical list and their pill bottles, and tell the ER team when your parent took the last dose of each medicine today.
Add the time beside each of today’s doses before you leave the house, or in the waiting room. Check that the list includes eye drops, inhalers, patches, creams, vitamins, and anything your parent takes “when needed.”
Bring the bottles in a bag in case your parent needs a dose while you’re there, and ask a nurse before giving anything from home. A nurse or pharmacist can also read the labels if needed.
If there’s no medication list yet, here’s how to keep track of an elder’s medications from different doctors, starting from the bottles in the house.
Which documents do I need at the ER?
Bring photo ID, the health card or insurance card, any emergency treatment form, and a copy of any document that names who makes health decisions for your parent.
Paramedics act on a specific emergency form, and each country has its own.
| Where | The form | What it does | Keep it |
|---|---|---|---|
| US | POLST | A medical order signed by your parent’s doctor or another clinician, for people who are seriously ill or frail. It says which treatments they want in an emergency. Some states call it MOLST, MOST, or POST. | On the fridge, and a copy in the hospital bag |
| Canada (Ontario) | Do Not Resuscitate Confirmation Form | Signed by a doctor or nurse. If paramedics have a valid form, they won’t start CPR, but they still treat pain and keep your parent comfortable. A photocopy counts if the original was fully filled in. | At home, and a copy in the hospital bag |
| UK (many parts of England and Scotland) | ReSPECT form | Emergency care recommendations your parent makes with their doctor or nurse, who signs the form. It isn’t a legal order, but doctors, nurses, and paramedics need a good reason not to follow it. | Somewhere easy to find at home, and a copy in the hospital bag |
In the US, the document that names who decides is an advance directive. In Ontario, it’s a power of attorney for personal care. In England and Wales, it’s a lasting power of attorney for health and welfare, and any advance decision to refuse treatment.
This is a summary. Ask your parent’s doctor which forms and documents apply where your parent lives.
What should I bring when my parent has dementia?
Add a short description of what your parent is like on an ordinary day to the emergency medical list, so the ER team can tell what’s new.
Delirium is a sudden change in thinking and attention, and doctors spot it as a change from the person’s usual self. Between 6% and 38% of older adults who visit the ER have delirium, according to the 2026 Geriatric Emergency Department Guidelines.
A few short lines is enough. For example: “Reads the paper every morning. Walks with a cane. Hears better on the left side. Knows what day it is, most days.”
Tell the triage nurse about the dementia in the first minute, and tell each new person who comes in. Pack one familiar thing, like a cardigan or a photo.
If a friend can meet you at the ER, one of you can stay with your parent while the other answers questions. If it’s only you, tell a nurse before you step away, so someone keeps an eye on your parent.
The Alzheimer Society of Canada’s Be ready for an emergency department visit toolkit has fill-in forms, including “About Me” and “My Ready-to-Go Bag.” In the UK, the Alzheimer’s Society’s free This is me leaflet does the same job for hospital staff. In the US, the National Institute on Aging has tips for going to the hospital with someone who has dementia.
Elderella’s care briefing holds the same details, including how your parent communicates and what works with them.
How do I keep the emergency medical list up to date?
Update your parent’s emergency medical list after every appointment, hospital stay, or pharmacy change, and reprint the fridge and bag copies.
Put the new date at the top each time, and shred the old copies. Check the whole list every few months too.
Elderella’s care briefing keeps this list current for you. It pulls together your parent’s medications, allergies, care team and contacts, emergency information, and how your parent communicates. It’s built fresh from everything in Elderella each time you open it. You can export it and send it by text or email to anyone who needs it, including whoever is at the hospital.
What should I ask the ER doctor?
Ask what they think is wrong, what happens next, what to watch for at home, and who to call if you have concerns after you leave the hospital.
Before the doctor starts explaining, ask whether you can record what the doctor says.
To ask about recording:
Is it okay if I record this on my phone? There’s a lot to remember, and I want to get it right for the family.
Questions to ask the doctor:
What do you think is causing this?
What tests are you doing, and when will we know?
Is my mother staying tonight, or going home?
Has anything changed with her medications?
What should I watch for, and who do I call if it happens?
When your parent is ready to go home, ask the nurse to walk you through the discharge papers, starting with any medication changes. Ask whether your parent needs anything at home tonight: new medications, home care supplies, mobility aids.
Ask how the follow-up gets booked. If it’s up to you, check your parent’s calendar and yours before you choose a time. Elderella keeps one shared care calendar for the whole care team.
When you get home, update the list from the discharge papers, so anyone who helps with medicines and other care sees the change. Then reprint the fridge and bag copies.
Frequently asked questions
Should I bring the pill bottles or just the list?
Bring both your parent’s pill bottles and their emergency medical list, the one list of their medications, allergies, health conditions, and contacts. The list puts every medicine and dose in one place, and the bottles show the exact name, strength, and pharmacy on each label, so a nurse or pharmacist can check anything the list missed. Put every bottle your parent uses in a bag, including eye drops, inhalers, and vitamins. If a dose is due while you’re there, ask a nurse before giving your parent anything from home. Add to the list the time of the last dose of anything taken today. After the visit, check the emergency medical list and update anything that changed.
Will the ER talk to me if I’m not the power of attorney?
In the US, the hospital may share some information with you even if you’re not the power of attorney. When your parent can’t take part or it’s an emergency, the HIPAA Privacy Rule lets staff share what’s directly relevant to your part in your parent’s care, if they judge it’s in your parent’s best interest. In Canada and the UK, the rules are different, so ask staff what they can share with you. Decisions go to the person your parent named: a health care proxy in the US, an attorney for personal care in Ontario, or an attorney under a lasting power of attorney for health and welfare in England and Wales. Bring a copy of that document.
What if I’m not the one who goes to the ER with my parent?
If you can’t go to the ER with your parent, whoever goes needs a printed copy of your parent’s emergency medical list: their medications, allergies, health conditions, and contacts. Keep one on the fridge and one in the hospital bag by the door. The Alzheimer Society of Canada suggests a note near the bag and beside the front door telling ambulance attendants to take the bag. Put your own phone number at the top of the list, so the hospital can reach you first. If you can, ask one person nearby whether they would be the one to go with your parent when you can’t.
What should I keep on my phone for the ER?
Keep a copy of your parent’s emergency medical list on your phone, with their medications, allergies, health conditions, and contacts. Add copies of the front and back of your parent’s ID and health or insurance card, and any form their doctor or nurse signed about emergency treatment, like a POLST or DNR form. Save the family doctor and the pharmacy in your phone’s contacts under your parent’s name, or add them to your parent’s care team in Elderella, so you can find them at 2am. Save all of these on the phone itself, not only in an online folder, so they still open if there’s no cell signal or Wi-Fi.
